Festive Fun

The Christmas holidays wouldn't be joyous and festive without a bit of laughter and fun, and I know everyone loves a giggle. I've gathered together the traditional question/answer jokes and also some short funny stories to tickle everyone! Enjoy:

Christmas Jokes

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in the chimney?

Claustrophobia.

How does the snowman get to work?

By icicle.

What do you get if you cross Santa Clause with a duck?

a Christmas quacker.

What carol is heard in the desert?

Oh camel ye faithful!

What athlete is the warmest at Christmas?

A long jumper.

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itus.

What do you get if you cross Santa Clause with a detective?

Santa Clues

Funny Short Stories

Santa's Grotto

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him and asked 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied young lady sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without pausing, the lady answered quickly, 'A millionaire son-in-law.'

Santa's Bad Day

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

- The Chatty Pig (www.freshersfoods.com)