Tuesday 18 December 2012

Festive Fun

The Christmas holidays wouldn't be joyous and festive without a bit of laughter and fun, and I know everyone loves a giggle. I've gathered together the traditional question/answer jokes and also some short funny stories to tickle everyone! Enjoy:

Christmas Jokes

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in the chimney?
Claustrophobia.

How does the snowman get to work?
By icicle.

What do you get if you cross Santa Clause with a duck?
a Christmas quacker.

What carol is heard in the desert?
Oh camel ye faithful!

What athlete is the warmest at Christmas?
A long jumper.

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus.

What do you get if you cross Santa Clause with a detective?
Santa Clues

Funny Short Stories

Santa's Grotto
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him and asked 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied young lady sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without pausing, the lady answered quickly, 'A millionaire son-in-law.'

Santa's Bad Day
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

- The Chatty Pig (www.freshersfoods.com)

Thursday 13 December 2012

Perfect Christmas Day Recipe

Stuck for new ideas this Christmas?

Well I've gone and done the hard work for you and discovered a tasty recipe that is Christmassy but also has a unique twist. Introducing The Slow Roasted Leg of Pork with Spicy Pork Scratchings. The recipe is Jamie Oliver inspired with a Freshers Foods twist.

Not only will this recipe feed the whole family and more (enough for 10 people), it will also let you get on with the things you really want to be doing at Christmas, such as watching the all time favourite Christmas films - Home Alone, Love Actually, The Grinch (to name a few), as well as listening to the traditional Christmas carols and top hits - it wouldn't be Christmas without Mariah Carey now would it?

I hope you enjoy this recipe and have a very Merry Christmas!! 


Slow-Roasted Leg of Pork with Spicy Pork Scratchings

Ingredients:

·         1 leg of pork
·         3 tbs of fennel seeds
·         3 tbs coriander seeds
·         Pinch of dried chilli pepper flakes
·         1 bulb garlic (skin left on)
·         1 handful of fresh sage
·         1 handful of fresh rosemary
·         Sea salt & freshly ground black pepper
·         Extra virgin olive oil
·         3 packets of Pub Original Hellishly Hot Pork Crunch

 

Method:

·         Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C/gas 7).
·         Make crisscross incisions all over the pork, on both sides.
·         In a pestle and mortar, crush the fennel and coriander seeds with a good pinch of salt. Sprinkle over both sides of the pork, and finish off with a grinding of black pepper.
·         Place the pork and garlic cloves in a roasting tray. Cover with a few good lugs of extra-virgin olive oil.
·         Next, place the sage and rosemary in a pestle and mortar and gently crush together until they are lightly bruised and have released their flavors. Add 4 tablespoons of olive oil to the mix and squeeze the flavored oil over the pork and rub the herbs all over it.
·         Turn the oven down to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C/gas 6) and cook for about 4 to 4.5 hours.
·         Just before serving, crush the Hellishly Hot Crunch and drizzle over the pork and cook in the oven for 5 minutes. 
·         Serve with roast potatoes and your choice of vegetables and condiments.

- The Chatty Pig (www.freshersfoods.com)

Monday 3 December 2012

‘Pork Scratchings are my favourite snack in the world’


Pork scratchings, pork rind, pork crackling, los chicharrones, whatever you want to call them, are the tasty little snacks that have the whole world talking. Celebrities, Al Murray, Matthew Wright and Chris Evans are among the masses of fans that love the traditional British bar snack.

Although Nicole Scherzinger wasn’t too impressed with the pork snack when X Factor finalist, James Arthur, offered her some, other female celebrities such as, R&B singer Beyonce and supermodel Kate Moss, have admitted that they love the British snack, pork scratchings. Cameron Diaz stated that she loves them and that pork scratching are her favourite snack in the whole world! – Glad to hear it Cameron, maybe you would like one of Freshers Foods Pub Original T-shirts? 

Girls always think their mates are Fit
but when you meet them they
look like a Pork Scratching
www.facebook.com/freshersfoods


- The Chatty Pig (www.freshersfoods.com)
Let the Pork see the Scratching
www.facebook.com/freshersfoods

Monday 5 November 2012

Wake up looking like a pork scratching?

We've all been there. Whether we had an amazing night out on the town or just had a late one, you know what it feels like waking up looking like a pork scratching and not knowing what to do about it.

Here are some tips to PREVENT this happening in the first place:

1. Avoid coffee, red wine and chocolate before going to sleep. Yes, I know it's nice to have some chocolate while watching a film, but trust me you will sleep a lot better without it.

2. Plan your day the night before, whether this is choosing your outfit for work or preparing your presentation notes. The last thing you want is to panic in the morning because you can't find that cream frilly top that goes so well with your new black pencil skirt or get on the wrong train to work because you were too nervous about your made-up-on-the-spot presentation.

3. Think of at least one exciting thing happening tomorrow that will help you get out of bed. I appreciate it can be hard to be excited about getting up for work everyday, but even little things like treating yourself to some new lipstick from the Boots store at the train station or the new issue of FHM magazine will give you that extra push in the morning. 

4. Set a suitable alarm tone. It's amazing what difference the song makes. I'd avoid generic mobile alarms as they are boring and not at all personally related to you. Instead I would choose something light hearted with a bit of a beat. Some of my personal favourites: Walking On Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves, Good Morning, Good Morning - The Beatles & Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - Wham.


Of course sometime you will end up going on a wild night out and getting in at ridiculous hours in the morning. So here are some tips to TACKLE the pork scratching look:

1. Get in the shower. No matter how tired and groggy you feel in the morning, a shower will help you feel refreshed and wake you up a lot quicker.

2. Tackle those eye bags. Before you dip your spoon into your cereal bowl, pop the metal spoon under your eye for approx 30 seconds and see a difference instantly (failing that, use some miracle concealer).

3. Drink a large glass of water. Simple and great for you as your body is dehydrated and needs a reboot.

4. Exercise. Take the dog out or go for a brisk walk around the estate. You will have bags of energy when you're back. Result!


- The Chatty Pig (www.freshersfoods.com)

Tuesday 30 October 2012

Spooktastic Party Ideas



Thinking of throwing a Halloween bash? Or you just fancy doing something different this year? Well I have all the tricks and treats you will need to make this year's Halloween extra spooktacular, in 3 easy steps!



Step One: The Disguise

Devil? Witch? Zombie? Dracula? Ghost? Or perhaps a Pumpkin? There are plenty of costumes and accessories available to help you get into the Halloween spirit. But why not try something different this year?


Here are some ideas that will get you noticed:

- Broken China Doll
- Giant Spider
- The Black Swan
- Evil Jester
- Zombie Pirate
- Gremlin








Step Two: The Treats
Pub Original Pork Crunch Hellishly
Hot flavour (available at Asda)

There is a wide range of tasty treats available to buy for your Halloween party, such as bat shaped jellies and fizzy snakes. Thinking of a savoury snack instead? Give Pub Original Pork Crunch Hellishly Hot a try! It's light and crispy with a little bit of kick - perfect for Halloween.

Fancy cooking up your own treats? Why don't you try some of our favourites:

- Spooky Cupcakes
- Gingerbread Skeletons
- Marshmallow Zombies
- Gooey Eyeballs

You will need your basic baking ingredients and a few extras, such as icing sugar pens and sweets for decoration.
Spooky Cupcakes: Frankenstein,
Spider, Zombie, Vampire,
Skeleton & Devil

I've also created a tasty punch recipe 'Vampire Bite' for kids and 'Vampire Kiss' for the grown ups. Try them out, very quick and easy to brew.

'Vampire Bite' recipe:
1. Mix together Lemonade and Blackcurrant cordial.

2. Throw in small pieces of chopped apple.
3. Add Strawberry laces around the rim to create a spookier effect.
4. Decorate with other accessories such as, Pumpkin straws and plastic Spiders.

'Vampire Kiss' recipe:
Vampire Bite
1. Mix together 1 Bottle of Red Wine, 1/2 bottle of Martini Bianco, 4 shots of Vodka and 1/2 Fanta Lite.
2. Add chopped apples and oranges to the mix.
3. Decorate with Halloween themed accessories.








Step Three: The Atmosphere

Every Halloween party needs the right entertainment and I've got it all covered, from spooky tunes to scary games!

Soundtrack  Ideas: 

  • Michael Jackson - Thriller
  • Ghost Busters Theme Tune 
  • The Addams Family Theme Tune
Freshers Foods Carved Pumpkin
Film ideas for kids: 

  • Little Vampire
  • Hocus Pocus
  • The Witches
  • Casper
  • Ghost Busters
  • The Addams Family.
Film ideas for adults: 

  • Halloween
  • A Nightmare On Elm Street
  • Night Of The Living Dead
  • The Exorcist.

Party Games:

  • Atmosphere (Board game, age 12+)
  • Murder Mystery
  • Cluedo
  • Musical Chairs (for kids)
  • The Mummy (Using toilet roll, try and convert yourself into a mummy, as quickly as possible)



Need more inspiration? Take a look at the following links for more ideas.
For snacks: http://freshersfoods.co.uk/
For drinks: http://www.drinkoftheweek.com/2011/10/blood-red-halloween-cocktails/
For costumes: http://www.fancydressball.co.uk/
For more accessories: http://www.partydelights.co.uk/halloween/halloween_party.asp?pmo=ha&gclid=CLiZpe2MqbMCFbMbtAodhW8Adg

- The Chatty Pig (www.freshersfoods.com)